Lady Dentist, dear thou art,
Thou hast stolen all my heart;
Take too, I shall not repine,
Modest molars such as mine;
Draw them at thine own sweet will;
Pain can come not from thy skill.

Lady Dentist, fair to see,
Are the forceps held by thee;
Lest those pretty lips should pout,
You may pull my eye-teeth out;
I’m regardless of the pangs,
When thy hand extracts the fangs.

Lady Dentist, hear me pray
Thou wilt visit me each day;
Welcome is the hand that comes—
Lightly hovering o’er my gums.
Not a throne, love, could compare
With thine operating chair.

Lady Dentist, when in sooth
You’ve extracted every tooth,
Take me toothless to your arms,
For the future will have charms:
Artificial teeth shall be—
Work for you and joy for me!