Visiting

The ‘morning visit’ appears to actually be in the afternoon according to Routledge’s Manual of Etiquette!

A morning visit should be paid between the hours of two and four p.m., in winter, and two and five in summer. By observing this rule you avoid intruding before the luncheon is removed, and leave in sufficient time to allow the lady of the house an hour or two of leisure for her dinner.

The times here seem to change be of the light changing from winter to summer.

Be careful always to avoid luncheon hours when you pay morning visits. Some ladies dine with their children at half past one, and are consequently unprepared for the early reception of visitors. When you have once ascertained this to be the case, be careful never again to intrude at the same hour.

Whilst we are not so strict nowadays I found it annoying when my in-laws had a habit of just turning up when they felt like it, usually when the Good Wife and I are trying to spend a bit of time just relaxing. It would be nice if people could actually take note of the highlighted section.

A good memory for these trifles is one of the hall-marks of good breeding. Visits of ceremony should be short. If even the conversation should have become animated, beware of letting your call exceed half-hour’s length. It is always better to let your friends regret than desire your withdrawal.

Good breeding..something that in my opinion is a rarity today. With so much rudeness, crudeness and general ruffianism but hardly a surprise when such a lack of personal responsibility and discipline lacks in society.

‘Good breeding is the result of good sense, some good nature, and a little self-denial for the sake of others’  Lord Chesterfield.

Good old Lord Chesterfield, a noted writer and wit apparently but he seems to have hit the nail on the head.

Visits of ceremony should be short. If even the conversation should have become animated, beware of letting your call exceed half-hour’s length. It is always better to let your friends regret than desire your withdrawal.

In-laws, family and close friends should definitely take note of the above.

On returning visits of ceremony you may, without impoliteness, leave your card at the door without going in. Do not fail, however, to inquire if the family be well. Should there be daughters or sisters residing with the lady upon whom you call, you may turn down a corner of your card, to signify that the visit is paid to all. It is in better taste, however, to leave cards for each. 

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